In an attempt to have a consistent post every week while using almost little extra brain power I will attempt to come up with overrated/underrated from whatever I feel needs to be mentioned. Some are common sense, some are just my opinion, but one thing’s for certain…lists like this are easy to do.
1. Holidays
Overrated: President’s Day. It know it’s a federal holiday, but I don’t get the day off so WAHHHHHHHHHH! I imagine this was a random bill in Congress that when it came to a vote and every Congressman thought this:
“This vote better be good. I’ve already worked twice this year and I’m not a fan of working three times before June. Looks like they want to make something in February called President’s Day a national holiday? Just because George Washington and Abraham Lincoln’s birthdays are close together? Well, that’s just weird. We already have them on the most common used currency in bill and coin form…they don’t need a holiday! But if I vote against this I’m voting against the first leader of our nation and the man who freed the slaves. I would look anti-American and a racist…I’m voting yes!”
Underrated: Labor Day. Think about it. It’s the first Monday in September so the weather is perfect. It’s a federal holiday that ALMOST every American gets off. It’s the last big holiday before teachers and students go back to school and count down the days until summer. This is the perfect Sunday Funday possible because it’s the last holiday before the chill of winter comes to screw over fun times outside. Labor Day needs to get a little more love from the party people out there.
2. Musicians
Overrated: Bruno Mars. Only his solo stuff. When he’s collaborating with someone else I like him, but when him and his Elvis hairdo on steroids is annoying. The songs about girls are sappy and make me cringe when listening to them and they’re slow tempo that should be used to make hyper kids go to sleep. The only upside is if the girl I’m interested in likes him I get to use that as a bargaining chip: We can listen to him casually if you don’t wear a top while the music is playing. It’s tough by arousing…I mean boobies…I mean fair.
Underrated: Flo Rida. In terms of being favorite rappers. Lil Wayne, Drake, Eminem, Kanye West, Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nikki Minaj…all these guys get love and rightfully so, but Flo Rida doesn’t seem to be at the forefront of minds. Every song he does is upbeat and catchy (which is right up my alley). He has an impressive resume of hits (“Low”, “Right Round”, “Club Can’t Handle Me”, “Good Feeling”) and does great collaborations (“Where Dem Girls At” literally gave me an erection listening to his part…granted it was while watching with the music video of girls in bikinis, but still). I think Flo Rida deserves more talk as a great talent than he gets…but I’m just a 25-year old white guy from suburbia…I don’t exactly have my ear on the ground to what is up in the rap game…please don’t hurt me rappers!
3. Beer
Overrated: Guiness. If I wanted to drink bread that gave me a buzz I would put Wonder Bread in a blender with vodka and chug that. Once I promptly vomited that regrettable concoction up I would still reach for a second gulp of that gross abomination than grab a Guiness. The only good use for Guiness is in Irish Carbombs…and that’s because the drink is over in three seconds. I’m sure this alienates me from joining high beer society, but I’m fine with that as long as they make Bud Light.
Underrated: Self-brewed beer. I was lucky enough to be involved in making a beer with some friends. We went to a place where you got to pick what beer you wanted, gather the ingredients, put them all together, then come back after a month to bottle your beer and slap a custom label on it. Both trips were fun as hell to do and the beer was delicious (and at 8% alcohol “Your Parent’s Worst NightmALE” put hair on my chest…and that’s saying something!), but because I was involved in making the beer from start to finish made it taste extra sweet and I had a sense of pride in the beer…even though this picture was the label…my parents are so proud!
4. Entertainment with friends
Overrated: Hiking. I think overrated is the wrong word I want. I’m thinking more of unbearable. This is mainly because I enjoy man-made things. Man-made things are better than nature: air conditioning, cable television, lacy lingerie…all better than nature. If I’m outside I want there to be a purpose…not just to walk from the beginning of a trail to the top of a random hill to overlook what treetops look like (hint: leafy!) I want to play a game, swim in a lake, go streaking through a church cookout…you know, reasonable reasons to be outside. A final point: I can get swamp ass from hiking or drinking margaritas outside in the summer…what’s better? My liver rests its case!
Underrated: Trivia. You’re at a bar, you get to make fun of wrong guesses, you talk in between questions, you get friendly competition between other people, you may win prizes at the end and there’s a chance the trivia master is an attractive girl who you may/may not have tried to make laugh to get her to make out with you when in reality you may/may not have muttered obscene things out loud that she overheard and the only way your mouth will touch hers is if she passes out and you push the person who knows CPR out of the way so you can steal a kiss before she wakes up…………………or something like that. Anyway…trivia night’s a blast!
5. Types of restaurants.
Overrated: Bistros. If any restaurant I go to has the term “bistro” anywhere in the title I know I’m in for an overpriced meal where I’m supposed to “savor the flavor” or “enjoy the quality” of my food, but instead I’m left at the end of the meal still hungry because of the minuscule serving size and angry that I paid $30 for this crap without a reach around back massage. I don’t have a refined palate. I have eaten condiment sandwiches of ketchup, mustard and bread to stay alive. That’s why I believe…
Underrated: Buffets.…this. Why is it that buffets are just for families and college students looking for a meal that will last three days. I vote date nights! The only date night place that’s a buffet is Mongolian BBQ and even then it’s too pricey for my taste for a date night. Let’s, as a male gender, demand that Chinese buffets for $12 for two people to eat be a place for date night! Women get bistros! Why can’t we have buffets?!?! Who’s with me???…(awkward silence)…anyone?…(crickets chirping)…hello?…(eyes of every female on Earth staring daggers into my soul)…AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, ok you’re right…can I at least make out with that trivia girl as a compromise?…(sound of guns cocking in the hands of every female on Earth)…oh, no…let’s move on…think I pissed myself…
6. Card-based drinking game.
Overrated: Kings. Not for the game itself, but for the length of time needed to play it. You have to have at least six people to make it a worthwhile game. Factor in the fact you’re most likely drunk before playing, there are 13 rules to keep track of, people nowadays have no attention span and everyone texting people who aren’t at your game and you have the recipe for a game no one is paying attention to after five minutes.
Underrated: Horse race. A great drinking game. It lasts 30 seconds, it has no limit for players, it gets everyone yelling and screaming at each other and their horses, the race caller is always amusing (at least ours is…love you Panama Green!), people don’t need to focus on a lot so ADD isn’t a factor and you can fall in love with a specific horse…even if it never wins…I love you puppy paws!
So there you have it, world. The first (and possibly last) installment of Overrated/Underrated. If you liked it I can keep it. If you didn’t like it…I don’t care what you think, poopyhead!
