It’s official. 2011 Ohio State football is like my golf game: there’s always something wrong every time out.  It’s never same thing either.  One time it’s the offensive line.  The next it’s late game defense.  And now we come to this…a critical special teams mistake.  The difference for football is that you can’t just throw you clubs in the water, quit the game and get wasted at the 19th hole.  The season goes on whether or not you want it to.

Winners

• Braxton Miller’s closing.  Say what you will about his quarterbacking in general right now, but when he needs to be great…he is.  Throwing the touchdown to tie the game at 20-20 on fourth down in the last minute of the game at Purdue was amazing.  Miller had to scramble around, hurdle a defender, slip on the painted yard line and float a ball that seemed destined to suck, but landed right in the arms of Jordan Hall.  I can deal with 59 minutes of garbage if the final minute leads to a victory.  It’s kind of like Tim Tebow…only Miller can play quarterback.
• West Lafayette.  I don’t know what the hell it is with this town, but Ohio State gets their talent sapped as soon as they step off the bus.  2011, 2009, 2005…all losses.  It’s like the Bermuda Triangle for football.  I can understand why.  You have to drive through Indiana to get there, there’s one major intersection, it’s a long walk from the parking lot to the field…it sucks.  I don’t get it.  Maybe we should flood the damn town.
• Closeout liquor.  I walked into the liquor store near my house looking to get my one and only love Sailor Jerry’s, but got distracted by this grocery cart.  It had bottles of liquor on discount.  They had a bottle of rum for $10!  WOO!!!  Sign me up for two!  There’s nothing better than closeout liquor.  You pay less for more stuff and I have no ill effects yet…other than the blackening of my liver and the potential poisoning of my brain with cleaning chemicals known as closeout liquor.
• Marine blues.  The Marine Corps ball was last week…and my God they were breathtaking.  If I weren’t so heterosexual and afraid I’d get my ass kicked I would have made out with anyone in uniform….wow that’s weird…moving on.

Losers

• Ohio State.  In general the team gets this.  Fickell’s coaching chances for 2012, the offensive line not supporting the run or pass much, Braxton’s deep ball…it all didn’t work.

S*** List: Boiler Up!  Dumbest thing in the f***ing world.